How To Overcome Fear
I’m quitting my job in two months and I’m scared. I’ve just started menopause and I only turned 41 two months ago. Inside my head, I’m screaming “what the hell are you doing”! You have a home, a family, bills. I’m quitting to become a teacher. At least I think that’s what I’ll do. That’s proven to be more complicated than I expected. Crazy thing though inside beneath the screaming is the quiet assurance that this season( my current job) of my life is over. There’s nothing left to do. Nothing left to accomplish here. I like to think of it as relationship that’s ending mutually. No one is bitter, both people just know that it’s time to move on.
I’m blogging but I’m so stubborn or whatever that I don’t want to follow any kind of set plan for my blog. I’m being called to teach, to mentor, to be role model, to act, to inspire and to serve but I don’t know how that’s supposed to play out. I have so many ideas and so many plans.
As long as I can remember I’ve had big dreams (Spiegel dreams), big ideas, and the gall to believe that I could have everything that I dreamed of. I have this blog and I have no idea what will come of it. I’ve got a lot of ideas but never enough time to execute them all. I’m busy and I have the tendency to take on too much. My son is 7 and I’m still trying to figure out how to follow my creative pursuits and be the mom that he needs me to be and that I want to be. And we’re exploring adopting another child or two. I’m a wife and an independent spirit so that brings it’s own daily challenges. You ever seen a bird with a broken wing trying to take flight or a bird that’s got its leg is caught up in a net or something. Some days that ‘s marriage for me. Some days I know why the caged bird sings. But as tough as I think that I am I can’t picture him not by my side and I know that I need him.
I’m not a quitter but I know when to fold. Sometimes I make mistakes but I celebrate failure because I want to inspire my son to know that it’s okay to not be perfect and to make mistakes. I’m also pretty driven and committed to my goals. Like I said I’ve always had big dreams and I can’t turn it off. That’s passion. I’m committed to bringing my visions to pass, helping others see theirs and helping others discover why they are here. Growing up there was a saying ” All I have to do is stay black and die” but there’s so much more than that to life. I want to discover why God made me black, a female, a mother, and so much more.
Although there’s this frantic voice screaming “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!” there’s a smaller more steady voice that’s saying “it’s all gonna be okay”. That’s faith.
It’s time to find out why I’m here. Making the leap.
How do you overcome fear?